Real Life Bride: Week 30

Last weekend we headed up to LA for some "fun wedding stuff" as Ryan referred to it (as opposed to the "un-fun" things such as napkins, rentals or anything logistical). Friday night we were spoiled with a second tasting with the caterer, The Food Matters, since we decided to switch some things up after the first tasting - and boy were we happy with our decisions and new selections! We brought along my mom along and she too thoroughly enjoyed herself and can't wait to indulge again at the actual wedding (plus we didn't taste the things we didn't change - like the delicious chopped salad - so she will still have some surprises!).

Saturday was a beautiful, sunny day in LA and we drove out to the Westlake area for our second meeting with the pastor. He was so pleasant to talk with and has lots of advice and feedback for how to adjust to life as a married couple and how you cope with all of the "issues" that life brings. After that, we ventured out to the venue to pick up a couple wine options for a taste test later that night with some of my besties. We found out that Malibu Family Wines has a little outdoor tasting area where you can bring food and eat and enjoy your wine, too - sadly we were not prepared for this and had to settle for just buying a few bottles to take with us. But good to know!

 

That night at our friends' place, it was really fun to break out their many many wine glasses and all sample the wine options. We only took one white, so we were hopeful that it would be a hit - and it was! We had a unanimous consensus on the red as well, so that was easy and fun and we all enjoyed the wine the rest of the night.

Ryan's right - this is "fun" wedding stuff!

Ready... Set... Summer!

This week, I am taking a break from our Bachelorette Fete series, which you can read here, here and here to talk a little about the upcoming Memorial Day Holiday!

For many of you, this means the start of at least three glorious days off from the demands of work and the start of summer. Woohoo!  So, here are few things to keep in mind as you begin the season of fun in the sun. 

1.  Don't forget the sunscreen!  If you are planning your nuptials anytime over the summer or fall, the last thing you want to start is tan lines.  Apply a sunscreen with at least SPF 30, has UVA and UVB protection, and above all, apply often!  Even if you don't think you need to, a little extra protection never hurts.  ;)  Those perfectly tanned shoulders can go right out the door with one sunburn (well, at least for me!).  Even if you are blessed to have olive skin that tans evenly, the damaging effects of the sun will add up over time, so protect that precious bridal skin. 

1a.  Apply self-tanner cautiously.  Most brides don't want to look washed out on their wedding day, but skin that doesn't look as though it normally occurs in nature is just as bad.  I have one word for you: Snookie.

2.  Drink plenty of water.  As the temperatures start to rise, be sure to stay hydrated.  As I've said before, water does wonders for your health and well being.  Usually the summer months are filled with backyard bbq's and days out on the lake or the beach, and sometimes some alcohol, so be sure to keep plenty of water nearby.  

3. Take care of your hair.  Sun and swim can be devastating to your locks, and lead to dry, brittle hair, causing split ends.  Make sure you moisturize deeply at least once a week.  Don't skip out on your regularly scheduled haircuts either.  That will help keep damaged hair at bay. 

4.  Rotate your closet.  I know, this one isn't so obvious, but with a change in season, I like to weed out clothes I haven't worn in at least one year, or that aren't staples to my wardrobe.  A hefty donation to the local charity will do wonders for your closet space and your karma.

5.  HAVE FUN!  Its easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of planning, but don't forget to just be yourself and have the summer you would normally have.  Have the family and/or friends over for a bbq to just let loose and enjoy the time you have together.  In my opinion, summer is the perfect time for a girls weekend, too!   Or why not plan a mini getaway for you and your soon-to-be husband to connect and revel in your "last summer" as un-married people.

But as my grandma used to say, there's no time like the present.  If you haven't already done so, plan a little something to celebrate the unofficial start of summer.  For me and my husband, it's the start of Friday Night Grill Nights.  We collaborate on the meal and connect as a couple after a long week.  We started this tradition while we were dating and still enjoy a romantic summer dinner at home for two on Friday nights.  It's "our thing" and we love it.  So start your own thing.  Get out on your deck or backyard, or have a picnic in your living room,  and just make the most of it!   It's time to welcome back summer with open arms.  Ah, how we've missed you...   Happy Memorial Day!

Considering Pre-Marital Counseling

 I'm sure some of you think pre-marital counseling is something that is forced upon you by the church or other groups, but, I actually get a lot of requests for information on premarital counselors, the benefits of, the time commitment, etc. Since, I'm not a therapist and would never claim to be, I did ask one of my favorite therapists, Will Baum, to give us a bit of insight for all of you considering some counseling sessions before the big day. Here's what Will had to say...

As this blog attests, preparing for a wedding can be an amazing, overwhelming swirl of details.  Friends, family, fashion, flowers--it's easy to lose sight of what the whole thing was about in the first place:  The two of you, getting married.  (Congratulations, by the way.)

You're likely have countless questions about how to shape a wedding exactly the way you picture it.  Beth and this blog are full of answers.  I'd like to encourage you to make time to consider another set of questions.  These questions can also be overwhelming--and may feel unwanted at the moment--but they're important.  They're about being married once you've made it past the big day.  As a bonus, answering them may also smooth the ride through the sometimes bumpy ramp up to "I do."

Among these questions:  What are the areas where you and your spouse-to-be sync up most?  When do the two of you tend to disagree?  What happens when you don't see eye-to-eye?  How do you deal with disagreements in a way that helps maintain and build your respect and affection for each other?  

Getting a clearer sense today of potentially tricky areas--and how to handle them--can help head-off surprise and confusion down the line, leaving you with an even stronger foundation for your marriage.  

As you talk over hot-button topics (children, money, sex, family, religion), it makes good sense to have an impartial third party to act as guide and, if needed, as referee.  Who best?  Maybe your officiant or other clergy.  For many, it's a therapist.  Regardless of who you see for pre-marital counseling, the plan and hope is that after just a handful of sessions, you'll feel even more excited and deeply connected as couple.  A very nice way to be come vow-time.

~Will

Will Baum, LCSW does pre-marital counseling at offices in Beverly Hills and Silver Lake.  Contact him at (323) 610-0112 or through his website, www.willbaum.com. 

With all of this, if any of you are searching for marital counseling and live in the Southern California area, consider checking Will out. He's the best of the best and can help you prepare for married life as well as work through any pre-marital jitters you might be having!

Real Life Bride: Week 29

It's commonly accepted that weddings and families can make for some interesting drama. So when your family is one of the vendors...well, that can be extra special! As everyone knows my sister is Laura of Laura Hooper Calligraphy. She is oh-so-graciously doing all of our print materials - design, print, assembly...everything. This is clearly quite generous of her, but nothing, even (or maybe especially?) things with family, goes without hiccups!

Laura gave me about five to seven initial design options, all similar but not quite the same - it really can be overwhelming! Of course having zero artistic ability or eye for design and what goes well together, I was completely lost in the many, many options. My mom, on the other hand, has lots of opinions and ideas so with her help and Laura's (and Beth's design expertise), we narrowed down the choices to a cohesive invitation suite - after about five drafts! This is way more than normal and had I not been Laura's sister I am guessing I would have racked up a few hundred dollars worth of additional proof charges!

Anyway, we finally got it very close to approval, so after not seeing the invitations since about round two, I forwarded the final proof to our mom for one last proof-read. Oops! My mom had requested some time ago that my sister use a specific calligraphy script. I remember this happening but since I can't tell the difference between most of them (don't judge me!), I didn't think much about it, but Laura made the artistic decision to stick with the original script that she thought worked. Personally I think all the scripts we've gone through are good, but I'm sure the Manhattan (requested script) is nice too, and I do want my mom to be happy!

In the end, Laura is making the switch and fortunately we have lots of time before the invites even need to go to print (everyone thinks I'm crazy for liking to do stuff in advance, but clearly I'm not!!). Thank you to my mom and sis for both caring so much about making everything juuuust right! I know day-of everyone will be so pleased with all the hard work.

The Bachelorette Fete - Part III: Destination Wine Country

Ok, ladies... settle in for a few minutes. This is going to be a long one.  ;)  It's my recipe for a fun-filled weekend of touring, tasting, and time away with your friends. 

Just one hour from San Francisco lies a little piece of heaven - the Sonoma and Napa valleys, also referred to as wine country!  Now, I love food and I love wine, which is a tribute to my California upbringing, to be sure.  And for anyone who appreciates those two things, this is just the place to go for an elegant and decadent getaway with the girls.  The region is relaxed yet refined all at the same time and it's simply amazing. 

  

Now, where to stay, you ask?  For the comforts of home, why not stay in one?  A vacation home that is large enough for all the girls in your party would be a great headquarters for your weekend.  If you're hoping for a few amenities and impeccable service, head to the ever chic and serene Carneros Inn, which is by far my favorite place to stay while in the area.  With vineyards, and a restaurant, and spa (oh my!), it's the perfect place to soak up the wine country atmosphere. 

Take a deep breath.  Can you feel the relaxation washing over you?

Planning Note: If possible, I recommend a shuttle or limousine service to take you on your tour of wine country. With roads that wind through the mountains and vast vineyards and farmlands, it's quite easy to get a little lost in these parts. Plus, shared transportation also allows everyone to just relax and take in the moments you have together, without compromising safety. While it might not seem like it, wine tasting DOES catch up with you.

Start your Saturday morning with a lovely brunch at Estate Sonoma Restaurant. The menu features a mix of market fresh ingredients with regional Italian flair.  I highly recommend the Bellini and Eggs Florentine.  YUM!  You'll also get a kick out of the signage on the outer restrooms doors.  Trust me on this one. 

When I celebrate with my girls, there is nothing I like better than a glass of bubbly.  There is something so sophisticated, yet fun about "champagne" (insiders tip: "champagne" only comes from the Champagne region of France.  Anything made anywhere else is called "sparkling wine").  But, for a taste of France, take a tour (with tasting, of course) at Domaine Carneros.  The brick chateau and grounds are simply breath taking and the tour guides are very entertaining.  It's definitely worth a stop. 

 Part of the Tattinger family, Domaine Carneros is simply some of the best sparkling wine available in the region. And who can resist a sparkling wine flight? Not me!

For the rest of your day, a cheese tasting would be delicious.  Or maybe a stop at one of the numerous tasting rooms or wineries in the Sonoma or Napa valleys. With so many options, it can be tough to pick just one.  But if the bride-to-be has a favorite varietal (Cabernet? Chardonnay? Pino Grigio?), find a wine maker that specializes in that type and it's sure to go over well. But if it's still overwhelming, just ask me. I can point you towards a few.  ;)

To finish your day, you cannot go wrong with dinner in Santa Rosa at Willi's Wine Bar for small plates to share, John Ash & Co. with it's amazing wine country inspired menu, or even The Fig Cafe for a more casual, but big on taste dinner in Glen Ellen.

I think Sundays are "Fun Days" so relax a bit at the spa with the girls and take a few moments to just appreciate all the wonderful things around you... in the scenery, in the air, but most importantly, in the company you keep.  Cheers!

Dealing with Guest Complaints : Part II

Just a bit more of my insight on the series that's been up for the past three weeks, which will hopefully get me back in all of your good graces :).

YOU MAKE US PAY?!
I'm sorry, I can't disagree with this one. Again, harsher than it needs to be, but if you are hosting a party, you should host a party. You wouldn't ask your guests to bring a six pack if they were having dinner at your house nor should you ask them to pay for a drink if you invite them to your wedding. If it's not in the budget, consider a limited bar of beer and wine or consider cutting the guest list. Everyone will have a much better time in the end!

YOU SAT US HERE
To me, this complaint is more about knowing and considering your guests as individuals. If you have to put a group of guests by a loud speaker, consider putting a table of your rowdiest friends there. If there is a table close to the kitchen, maybe the kid's table could go in that corner. Try to think about the age and comfort of your guests when seating them if at all possible, but again, don't lose sleep over it!

In regards to outdoor weddings, I'm a huge fan, and I think my blog and website can attest to that! However, there are a lot of things to consider when going outdoors to keep guests comfortable. Outdoor heaters or pashminas are great if you anticipate a chill. Parasols work wonders if the sun is a little bright. And, simple details like bug wipes placed in upgraded VIP trailers in lieu of the carnival style portable restrooms are always a plus if possible. Lastly, simply advising your guests that the wedding is outdoors can do wonders as they can be prepared on their end.

YOU DON'T INVITE A PLUS ONE
Now, I know that venues and budgets have limits, but I am a big supporter of your guests being allowed to bring a date. I know that I personally would never want to attend a wedding without some social support and I doubt you would either. Unless you are inviting your crew of friends that can entertain themselves all night long, consider allowing guests to bring a date rather than forcing them into awkward social scenarios where they have no one to talk to.

YOU PUT US TO WORK
I don't really have to deal with this one too much as we tend to insist that NO guest ever work at the wedding, but I do think it's a good rule of thumb to plan to hire professionals so guests can be guests, when possible.

YOU DON'T SAY THANK YOU
You all know how I feel about intimate weddings. They really can be a special experience for everyone involved. You will not only THANK each guest but you will likely be able to even have a full conversation with everyone there. However, I know that's not realistic for every couple, so if you do have hundreds of guests, try to find the time to say hello to each person at the wedding. Thank you cards, I'm pretty sure, are a given, so I don't even need to touch on that one...

Again, my apologies to all who I offended by reposting the original article from The Knot, but hopefully I've helped further explain why the guest complaints are worth considering. Happy planning!

Dealing with Wedding Guest Gripes : Part I

Wow! That last series really got a lot of you worked up! I even had a few of you mad at me which made me a little sad, but the truth is, while the guests quoted in those articles were really harsh, there were definitely some relevant messages to consider from what your guests will and won't notice at your wedding. I've said it before and I just want to remind everyone that I truly believe in the art of entertaining. And, while, I also think a wedding day should 100% reflect the couple's style, personality, etc., I don't believe it should be done so in a way that sacrifices the guest's comfort. It's your day...it's your celebration...but you are still inviting several if not hundreds of people to be a part of that celebration, so again, while those opinions were rude, they are worth considering. Now, as mentioned before, you'll never make everyone happy so don't even try, but along with the amazing flowers, your one and only wedding gown and the other details, take some time to really focus on your guest's comfort as well. They truly are one of the most important elements in having a successful celebration.

Since I NEVER like to stir the pot or make the planning more stressful than it needs to be, today, I wanted to touch on each of the complaints mentioned in the article and throw in my two cents...here it goes. Oh, and if you're just tuning in and want to know what all of the fuss is about, click here, here and here.
YOUR TIMING STINKS
Again, the wording was harsh, but the message is true. Leaving your guests in limbo is definitely no fun and can ultimately loose the momentum in your event. People want to celebrate you and your union IMMEDIATELY. They're excited. They're ready to party and nothing can ruin a buzz like milling around a bookstore for two hours while waiting for the real party to begin. It can be unavoidable, believe me, I know! So, if for some reason this isn't an option for you, maybe suggest a very casual get together for your guests to enjoy at a local restaurant or bar until the party begins.

YOU PICKED A BAD DAY
This complaint, along with most of the others, really is only one you would hear from acquaintances for distant friends. BUT, if you are hoping for their attendance on your day, you might want to avoid holidays where they will likely want to be with close family. Now, on the other hand, if you are hoping for an intimate celebration with the best of the best, then a holiday wedding is completely appropriate as you would have probably spent that day with those people anyway!

YOU'RE BORING US
I disagree for the most part with this one. I think most guests do really enjoy the ceremony. At least the guests that matter. BUT, what I do think is relevant from this comment is try to consider all of your guests when planning the evening. A head table of 30 of your closest friends when you only have 50 people at the wedding can leave people feeling left out, as can a song list that is filled with inside jokes. Also, this complaint isn't so much about hiring a BAD band, as it is, hiring the type of entertainment that YOU would want to dance to. The truth is, guests will follow your lead, so if you want guests to dance, start dancing, but first start by hiring a band, dj or any other type of entertainment that you would actually want to dance to...

THE FOOD ISN'T GREAT
I'm not sure how many guests actually think their gift is in exchange for an amazing dinner, but, I can say if you are having an over-the-top wedding where it is obvious you broke the bank to create a breathtaking atmosphere, you set the expectation that the food will be amazing. Many couples focus so much on the design and decor that they forget about the food. Guests like a beautiful party for so long, but if after a bit, they don't have decent food or entertainment, they will get bored. Sad but true.

Real Life Bride : Week 28

As Beth mentioned last week, we are living the lull of a year-long engagement - there's only so much to do in advance! This couldn't have been timed any better, though, since I co-hosted a bridal shower just a couple weeks ago, attended a bachelorette party last weekend, am co-hosting another shower at the end of this month, have a wedding to attend in June, planning a bachelorette party for July and am in that wedding in August! For his part, Ryan is just starting some classes next week, is still in the long process of training at work and is also looking to log more flying hours to finish up his instrument ratings - so we are both quite busy!

Beth offered some great advice on things to do during the down time, and we've actually done many of those. I signed up for a full six months of pilates and will be getting facials every 6-8 weeks (I've always wanted to do this anyway, so now I have the best excuse for it!). I'm also trying to drink more water, which I should be doing regardless of the wedding. I've purchased the bridesmaids' gifts and we've discussed the groomsmen and starting thinking about our parents too. Our honeymoon is booked (yay!). We've registered, although we will need to clean that up as the wedding nears given the fact that many items "are no longer available." I have my jewelry and a potential veil, and I've also purchased and returned one pair of shoes (they were too high), so the hunt is on for a second pair. So...I guess that leaves us spending some quality time together!

Ryan and I cook dinner together most every day, but we also try to have a weekly date night out. Last week that consisted of an attempted trip to Lake Elsinore to see Manny Ramirez play in a minor league baseball game. After about 20 minutes in traffic and figuring out that Lake Elsinore is 70 miles away, we turned around and headed off to try a new place for happy hour - and this was a much happier experience!

The Bachelorette Fete - Part II: Labels AND Love

I don’t know about you, but I am super excited for the next Sex and The City movie installment. I don’t think any other series celebrates the relationships of girlfriends better than Sex and The City. There is usually a little part of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte in each of us, which makes it so totally relatable.

The girls in SATC shared life’s ups and downs, the dating disasters and delights, and were there to cheer each other on and celebrate their successes and triumphs, just like I’m sure you do with your gal-pals. So why not celebrate one of life’s best experiences, your marriage, with your girlfriends, by making your bachelorette party a Sex and The City themed party?!

My ideal night would go something like this: Ask all the girls to channel their favorite character from the series. Start by donning a fabulous dress (Dior is to die for) and killer shoes (Manolo’s anyone?). Invite everyone over to a central meeting place and start your night with the cocktail of choice, a Cosmopolitan of course. With your theatre tickets purchased ahead of time, head over to the movie theater to screen Sex and The City 2 with the ladies. Nothing is more New York than a late supper after the movie, so take the girls out for a nosh and maybe another cocktail or two.

Afraid your best girls will have already seen the movie by the time the bachelorette party rolls around? No problem! Anytime the SATC girls had something to celebrate, you could be sure there was a Cosmo or champagne around, so start your evening with a little cocktail party at home to get things going. Maybe you have a little raw food (think the restaurant Samantha first met Smith in) or some Chinese (a la Miranda calling the same Chinese restaurant for take out). Once all the girls are assembled, you could head out for a night on the town! Or, keep the party at home with a SATC DVD marathon and have a little slumber party.

To wrap up the fete, nothing seems more apropos than a brunch the following morning to dish about the night before and the fun you’ve had together.

Whatever you decide, enjoy this time with your best girls and above all, just be fabulous!

Your To Do List for Your Downtime

As mentioned on Monday, if you have given yourself ample time for the wedding planning process, you will likely hit a point where you are in a bit of a holding pattern. Design can be touched on, but not finalized, timelines can be drafted but not completed, and so on and so on. On Monday, I mentioned what I personally, think you should be doing with the time, but for those of you that are amazing at balancing your life, meaning: 1. your fiance is happy 2.  your familial relationships and friendships haven't suffered and 3. you and work is going perfectly, then the "lull", as I like to call it, can also be a good time to work on the following:

Start your beauty regimen
If you haven't been following my girl, Susie's posts, then click here, here and here to find a way to start treating your skin right all the while getting it ready for the big day.

Start your pre-wedding workouts
Whether you are planning a full blown program with a personal trainer or you're just going to step up your current regimen a notch, now's a good time to get moving.

Get in the gift giving mood
Start thinking about and purchasing the gifts for all of your lovely friends and family, without whom, you wouldn't have made it this far. Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Parents or even the people who will serve as guest book attendant, etc. all are gift worthy.

Plan that honeymoon
I'm sure you've already been dreaming about the perfect place to spend your honeymoon, but now let's put those plans in place.

Start registering
If you haven't done so already, start checking out your registry options. Showers and celebrations will likely start within the last two to three months of your wedding plans and it's great to have the registries in place before hand.

Start shopping
The dress will be in soon and fittings will begin! You'll need to have your shoe options narrowed down in time for the seamstress to get started. Also, it's always nice to see the whole package complete with jewelry, hair piece and undergarments.

Start your DIY projects
If there is anything you're hoping to do yourself, now's the time to get started. I promise those favors and other little goodies you are making by hand, will take much longer than you anticipate, so get them started now and save yourself many sleepless nights closer to the wedding.

Get the groom's attire in order
If your fiance is like most, he hasn't finalized his wedding day attire. Use this time to get the discussion going and finalize details on his fancy pants.

Reconnect with your fiance
I know I'm like a broken record and it's likely EVERYONE is telling you the same thing, but sometimes wedding plans distract from the real situation at hand, which is, you are about to be married. You could reconnect in a variety of ways from pre-marital counseling to simply just having a few heart to hearts with your fiance about situations you anticipate facing as a married couple. It will be good to touch base in a way that doesn't revolve around the flower girl's hair or which napkins will look best with your table scape. Or, if you're so inclined, just go out and have fun together, like my beautiful bride, Lauren and her fiance, AJ who are shown above...

Image by Heather Kincaid

Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : Part III

Now, you're NEVER, I mean, NEVER, going to make everyone happy, so don't even put that kind of pressure on yourself! But do think about your guests and their comfort at your wedding. Next week, I'll be back with a few tips on how to combat some of these guest complaints, but in the meantime, here are the final three common omplaints of wedding guests, according to The Knot...

YOU DON'T INVITE A PLUS-ONE
Nothing reminds us of our dating status like a wedding. No need to rub it in our faces with even more reminders. The garter and bouquet tosses are like saying, "Hey, look at them. They're single!" Could you blame us if we hide in the bathroom as soon as the DJ announces it? And, come on, even if they did honestly predict we'd be the next to marry, do we really want some cheesy guy slipping garters up our legs? Of course, we'd prefer to be invited with a date, but we get why you may not be able to give us that, especially if we'll know lots of other people there. But if everyone we know is making out with their significant other all night, we're going to be pissed that you couldn't include one extra person to make us feel a little more comfortable.

YOU PUT US TO WORK

We know we'll have to help out with some tasks when we agree to be in the bridal party, but it's insulting when you consider a task like manning the guest book table an honor. We'd rather just be a regular guest at the wedding than have some silly duty like that. At the very least, give us a heads up if you'll need our help. Don't spring flower girl babysitting duties on us minutes before the reception.

YOU DON'T SAY THANK YOU
It's frustrating when we fly all the way to your wedding and you don't take the time to thank us for making the trip. Even if we haven't come a long way, make an effort to thank us for coming anyway. We know it's hard to talk to every guest at the wedding, but that's why, at the very least, we better get a thank-you card from you when you get back from your honeymoon!

Real Life Bride : Week 27 : The Lull in Wedding Plans

Alyssa's taking the week off, well, because we haven't had a lot to do with the planning lately! Vendors are booked. Florals, linens and lighting are selected and stationery design is underway. We cannot WAIT to share the final outcome...But, in the interim, I thought I would touch base a bit on the natural lull that tends to occur in wedding planning since that is where Alyssa tends to be in this process...


Many of the magazines tell you to give yourself a year plus to plan your wedding and I'm all for it!! Giving yourself this amount of time helps the wedding planning feel a bit more leisurely instead of feeling pressure to make quick decisions and rush through your to do list. However, if you have a full year, you can definitely expect a period of time where there is a bit of silence before the planning moves forward again.

The first months of the planning process are focused on booking the team including choosing your venue, caterer, florist, photographer and so on. You'll have trial runs with your stylist and watch so many videography demos, you'll start to know the vocabulary and even jump into the design process a bit. But, after that, the waiting begins. Often, many caterers prefer not to host the tasting until two months prior to the wedding in effort to give you an accurate representation of the seasonal vegetables and such. It's challenging for florists to do a prototype too early for the same reason...showing you the flowers in February for your September wedding can give you the idea of the shape and style, but if you want to see EXACT flowers, it's much better to wait until the season. Also, many things such as transportation, linen and rental orders, floor plans, etc. while initial drafts can be started, they cannot be finalized until we have that magic number that is your guest count.

During the downtime, however, instead of worrying that things won't get done (they will!) and trying to move things along prematurely, try this...spend the time relishing in your engagement. Focus on spending time with your fiance talking about things that are NOT wedding related. Grab a coffee with your best friend and ask about HER life. Again, no wedding talk. Overall, use the time to get back on track with the everyday life you led before the rush of wedding plans stole your every thought and waking minute. I promise, when planning starts to get hot and heavy during the last couple of months of your engagement, you will be grateful you took some time to do so.

Now, with, all of this being said, however, I know the above paragraph will definitely fall on a few deaf ears :). It's the curse of being a bride. Don't worry, you're not alone!! So, just in case you are just DYING to work on more and more bridal goodness during your lull, come back on Wednesday and I'll share a mini to do list of items that can be crossed off your list during the downtime.

We were thinking about arranging our own flowers to save money. What are your thoughts on DIY projects like this? As a general rule, I've rarely seen a DIY project save someone money unless they are an expert in the area they are taking on themselves. For example, if you are arranging your own flowers, you will need to purchase the vessels and will likely not have the resources for wholesale flowers, meaning you will pay more per bloom than an actual florist would. Also, you will need to spend a bit more buying extra product (again, at retail rates) in case of errors, damaged flowers, etc. Lastly, your time is certainly worth something! How much do you get paid per hour? If you figure that into the number of hours you will spend arranging your own flowers, printing your own invitations, or whatever the case may be, I think you'll find that you will likely not save very much money, if any at all, not to mention the amount of stress you are adding to yourself by taking on projects like this.

Really, the ONLY reason to take on a DIY project for your wedding is if you actually enjoy the work and not because you want to save money. DIY projects can definitely bring personality and charm to your day. It lets guests see your inner talent and can be a lot of fun, especially if you can get the best friends, your mom, etc. involved in the projects. All of this is reason enough to take on some projects on your own, but I promise, you are just kidding yourself if you think DIYing is going to save any cold hard cash. If you do decide to take on a select bit of DIY projects, please, please limit it to minor projects that won't be too stressful and ones that won't impact the overall success of your day. If you want to create candles or assemble programs, so be it! If you love the idea of hand making your bridesmaid's gifts, go for it. But, try to resist the urge of taking on the big things like making your own wedding cake, DJing your own wedding or arranging your own flowers. Doing so will add more stress than any bride should have on her one and only wedding day!

The Bachelorette Fete - Part I: Runaway with the Circus

Today I’m beginning a new series dedicated to the many, MANY options available to brides and her best girl friends on what to do and where to go for the Bachelorette Party. This somewhat new tradition can take on a variety of shapes and sizes, ranging from a small luncheon with your friends, to an all-out destination getaway.  I’m going to begin this series with an activity I’m hoping one of my engaged girlfriends will be so excited to try, that she’ll insist we plan this immediately!

In the heart of Los Angeles is Cirque School LA. Founded by a Cirque du Soleil veteran, Cirque School offers classes that combine aerial circus moves and Pilates. With a focus on flexibility and strength as well as a whole lot of fun, taking a class at Cirque school with your girlfriends would be one not soon forgotten. The classes follow a circuit of exercises designed to increase core strength and fluid movement and include work on the trapeze,fabric and rope.  It’s a little scary but sounds like so much fun at the same time!  The training is intense, but seriously exhilarating.  Before you know it, you’ll be flying through the air with the greatest of ease. 

But not to fear!  For those of you who would rather keep both feet on the ground, the school offers Ground Classes, which also provide the same benefits, but at a much lower altitude, as well as mat and reformer Pilates classes. 

So throw caution to the wind and runaway to the circus, with your best girlfriends of course, even if it is only for a day.

Michele & Kurt Get Hitched

Michele & Kurt were married on one of the rainiest days this year, but you definitely could not tell from these pictures. La Venta Inn in Palos Verdes was the backdrop for the reception and it was the perfect spot to get cozy and celebrate on a chilly February evening as well as a great spot to incorporate, Michelle's classic yet approachable vision. Check out the pics from Chelsea Elizabeth, who was able to take advantage of every piece of sunshine she was given:

Thank you, Michele & Kurt, for allowing me to be a part of your day!