In the Press : Inside Weddings

Wednesday, March 31, 2010



If you haven't purchased your latest issue of Inside Weddings yet, you're missing out. As usual, there is TONS of great inspiration, resources, etc. We were also excited to share our advice on designing a wedding you love for this month's consulting column. I'll share more of the content next week, but in the meantime, be sure to take a peek at one of my favorite publications out there either in the bookstores or by stopping by their website.

We're Growing by the Day

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I've been so excited to introduce Susie Kheel, who is my own personal secret weapon. While Susie has been with me for a while now, we finally had a quick moment to have her picture taken by the talented Jose Villa. That's her sweet little face above!

Susie is now the Senior Event Producer and all around go-to girl at Beth Helmstetter Events. She's organized, creative, calm, full of life and encompasses every trait that a great event producer should have. She comes to us from Universal Studios where she planned everything from Mitzvahs to movie premieres and worked with the likes of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, among others. I just love having her around so much so, that not only will Miss Susie be the details girl and logistical mind behind all of our future events, but she will also have her own little place on the blog each week. Check back on Thursdays to get to know Susie that much better!

Real Life Bride: Week 21

Monday, March 29, 2010



A couple months ago Ryan and I informally registered online, which was fun and easy, but not necessarily complete or thorough. So this past week we made our first trip to Macy's to register in the store...and it was exhausting! There are so many items to go through and lists to check off, it was actually kind of overwhelming.

The biggest surprise of the experience, though, was Ryan's interest in fine china! We had loosely decided that we would only register for everyday dishes because of our small guest list. We didn't want to end up with two half-full sets of dishes and wouldn't have an immediate need for china, but Ryan thought the fine china patterns were so nice that we might just go for both!

I have a few friends who recommended multiple trips for registering, so after a couple hours, we opted to call it a day and get re-organized. The good news is that we mostly like all the same things!

Sunday, March 28, 2010


 Courtesy of Frenchie & Flea




Friday, March 26, 2010

Both of our parents are remarried. What is the appropriate way to acknowledge our step parents in the wedding day?

The answer to this typically depends on how long your step parents have been in the picture as well as how close you are to said step mother or father. If they have been in the family a significant amount of time and/or you feel particularly close to the step parent they can be acknowledged on the invitation, during the ceremony processional as well as with a personal flower (corsage, boutonniere, etc.) on the wedding day. And, truth be told, if you want to save yourself a lot of drama, you should consider incorporating them into all of these things even if they haven't been in the picture a long time or if you aren't particularly close to them. However, if it just doesn't feel appropriate, the minimum you should do out of respect for your parent, is to acknowledge their new spouse with a personal flower at the ceremony. Depending on how sensitive of situation you are dealing with, this should appease all involved, but if it doesn't and having your stepmother escorted down the aisle will make everyone happy, I would highly recommend just allowing it. There will be bigger battles to be had and this is one way to keep everyone at peace on your wedding day.

Choosing the Right Venue for Your Wedding Style : Part IV, Nontraditional Venues

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Lofts, barns, museums or even garages can all be great locations for your wedding site. They offer a very unique atmosphere and aesthetic and can already have built in design for your day.

You might find a nontraditional venue, perfect for you, if:

 1. You have a very distinct style and would rather have the venue communicate this style rather than try to transform a ballroom or private estate to fit your vision.

2. You like the idea of giving your guests a completely new experience. Many of the nontraditional spaces are not as overused as other more traditional venues and your wedding may be the first time anyone has ever seen a wedding like yours.

3. You want to be creative and the venue will allow you to do so throughout every detail of the wedding. For example, if you are in a loft for your wedding, you might find a really posh cocktail party would be a better flow for the evening. Or, if you are in a barn for the night, you might embrace the feel by playing horseshoes at cocktail hour or having a lounge area created out of hay bales.

We guest-blogged a PERFECT example of using a nontraditional wedding space on Style Me Pretty today. Check it out!

Quiz: Is a Destination Wedding Right for You?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010



Many couples consider and even dream of a destination wedding, but let me be the first to say that they aren't for everyone! Cultural differences, language barriers and the inability to touch and feel every element of your day can get to even the calmest of brides. So, before you book those tickets to Capetown or even Napa, take the following quiz to determine if traveling outside of your city and comfort zone is the right move for you.

1. Your best friend since the third grade just let you know she cannot attend your destination fete due to finances, you:
a. Tell her you understand, but secretly feel like your relationship will never be the same.
b. Totally get it. You wouldn’t be able to spend $1000+ for her either.
c. Foot the bill for her ticket and demand her attendance.

2. I want a destination wedding because:
a. Duh, it’s cheaper!
b. I want my guests to have an experience like no other wedding they’ve attended.
c. Who has the time to plan anything else?

3. The internet and you are:
a. like old friends who spend hours interacting every day.
b. acquaintances. You email occasionally, but are not completely web savvy.
c. What’s the internet?

4. You think a wedding planner is:
a. A luxury reserved for brides with much larger budgets than yours.
b. Pointless. Why would I hire someone else to do what I can do myself?
c. A necessity. How the heck am I supposed to go it alone thousands of miles away?

5. Your attitude towards your wedding style is:
a. everything must be perfect down to the exact shade of ribbon tied on my bouquet.
b. I have a vision, but since it’s in such a great destination, I know it will be beautiful no matter what.
c. What do you mean wedding style? I think my wedding planner is taking care of that for me.

6. You think you’ve found the perfect photographer for your day, but can’t meet him in person, you:
a. Blow your budget by scheduling a planning trip to your destination. You can’t do this without touching everything and meeting everyone involved in your day.
b. Send in your wedding planner to do the footwork. That’s what she’s there for anyway.
c. Risk it. He’s got a nice web site so he must be legit.

7. Your Aunt just called you for the 17th time to ask where the best restaurant in your destination is, you:
a. Send her the link to your wedding website where all the information is readily available.
b. Tell her she is on her own. How are you supposed to help with other people’s vacations when you have a wedding to plan?
c. Get her started by giving her the phone number of your wedding planner, hotel concierge or local travel agent so she can do the research herself.

8. How do you feel about the culture in your destination?
a. Love it! The traditions, people and foods are the inspiration for designing my day.
b. It’s a little tacky, but it’s fine, as long as it doesn’t show up on my big day.
c. I don’t know much about it.

9. You want to be married by a catholic priest, but just found out that this is not an option in your location, you:
a. Cancel the wedding. Religion is a non negotiable factor for your ceremony.
b. Marry anyway, but plan a small ceremony in your own church when you return home.
c. Don’t care too much. You were really only doing it for your mother anyway.

10. It’s the day after your wedding and you can’t get a minute of alone time with your new hubby, you:
a. Secretly check out of the hotel you have been staying at and head for more secluded accommodations.
b. Love it! You want to spend every last minute with your family and friends.
c. Let them all know how rude they are being. After all, this is your honeymoon too.

SCORING:
1. A. (1)  B. (5)   C. (3)
2. A. (1)  B. (5)  C. (5)
3. A. (5)  B. (3)  C. (1)
4. A. (1)  B. (1)  C. (5)
5. A. (3)  B. (5)  C. (3)
6. A. (3)  B. (5)  C. (1)
7. A. (5)  B. (1)  C. (3)
8. A. (5)  B. (1)  C. (3)
9. A. (1)  B. (5)  C. (3)
10. A. (5)  B. (3)  C. (1)

10 to 16: CONSIDER A HOMETOWN AFFAIR: Unless you have the time and budget to make multiple trips to your destination of choice, save the pain and stress planning a destination wedding will cause you. Choosing the exact shade of peony, the perfect material for the table linens or ensuring your favorite cousin is able to attend will be a whole lot easier to manage with a hometown affair.

17 to 32: DON’T GO TOO FAR: A weekend in Napa or the Palm Springs area might be the perfect getaway for someone like you who doesn’t want to relinquish complete control, but still wants a new experience for their guests. This will allow you to make a couple of road trips throughout the process and maintain a lot of control over the day.

33 to 50: ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD: You’re all about the destination wedding experience and are open to the bumps in the roads that may come along with the journey. You know what you want, but at the same time know when to trust the experts. Consider Greece, South Africa, Bali or anywhere else in the world for your big day.

BEST ANSWERS:
1. B
Why: When choosing a destination wedding, you have to consider that many key people in your life may not be able to attend. The best attitude to approach a destination wedding is if it only ends up being the two of you, you will still have the wedding of your dreams. Now obviously, you will have some guests, maybe even a lot, but unless you have the budget to pay for your guests to attend, do not expect lots of people to shell out hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for your big day.

2. B or C
Why: Unless you are a no frills, no fuss type of gal or you are eloping, destination weddings are not always cheaper. While destination weddings tend to have fewer guests, there are more factors that contribute to the cost of the event. For example, you may want to provide killer welcome baskets and even to plan a day trip or extra events for your guests during the week. Also, expenses like shipping items to and from your destination or something usually simple and easy to get like roses in your bouquet can be more expensive in your destination. Now, if you’re a bride who doesn’t have a lot of time and can let go of the reins, destination weddings are perfect for you. Or, if you’re someone who wants to make the day very personal so your guests to have an out-of-this world time, destination weddings are also the way to go.

3. A
Why: If the internet is not currently part of your world, prepare for it to become your best friend during the wedding planning process. Because of time differences and the fact that you will not be able to see each detail in person, email will be your number one means of communicating with your wedding planner and other vendors as well as viewing pictures of all of the details.

4. C
Why: While when planning in your hometown, a wedding planner is a luxury to help you through the minutea, when it comes to destination weddings, a wedding planner is a necessity. She will be your eyes and ears at your destination of choice and steer you in the right direction when it comes to choosing vendors as well as any other details for the day. While you do not need to relinquish complete control over to your planner, definitely find someone who is on your side during the planning process and that you could trust to make the right decisions on your behalf.

5. B
Why: When choosing a destination wedding, recognize that you may not have as much control over the design of your day as you might prefer. If you have a good wedding planner, she should be able to get you just about anything you want, but be prepared to spend more if you are not willing to settle for what is readily available in the region of your choice. In an effort to save your sanity and a few dollars, go into the planning process with a bit of flexibility on the design of the event. Embrace the atmosphere of your destination and everything else will fall into place.

6. B
Why: Never hire a vendor without doing the proper research on him or her first, especially for a destination wedding. Unfortunately, a web site cannot tell you the whole story, but a local referral like a wedding planner, concierge, etc. can do the necessary leg work to ensure you are hiring a reliable team for your day.

7. A or C
Why: Do not try to take on everything yourself with a destination wedding. Aside from the wedding, you are essentially inviting all of your guests on vacation with you too. To avoid a million phone calls, contact a travel agent immediately to provide information on flights, accommodations and activities. If you are able to compile this information upfront, you’ll be home free from time consuming phone calls and frustrated wedding guests.

8. A
Why: One of the best things about destination weddings is exposing your guests to new and unique cultures. To get the most out of your wedding celebration consider incorporating some traditions and foods from the destination, even if it is something as greeting each guest with a lei in Hawaii, or having a flamenco dancer during the welcome party when in Spain.

9. B
Why: Often with destination weddings you have to take what you can get when it comes to ministers or other members of the clergy. Just like in your hometown, often Priests, Pastors, etc. will not leave their congregation to perform wedding ceremonies. Unless you are willing to fly your officiant in with you for the ceremony, more often than not, you will need to settle for a non-denominational officiant for the day. Since religion often is a big factor in your day, determine whether this is a deal breaker for you and your fiancée.

10. A
Why: It goes without saying that you shouldn’t be rude to anyone who just traveled thousands of miles to be with you on your big day. On the other hand, you do need to spend some time alone with your new spouse. The best solution is to let guests know up front that after the organized activities are over, the two of you will be heading off for alone time. While most people will expect this anyway, this will prevent any potential hurt feelings or conflicts from arising.


New Obsession : Elizabeth Dye

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I know I made mention of my love for Elizabeth Dye's gowns a few weeks ago, but I have to admit that my love has grown into a completely unhealthy form of obsession that has resulted in stalking her blog and work over the internet. Her designs are so charming, lovely and feminine and my only disappointment is that she wasn't around when I had my wedding gown made. It's so bad that I've begun trying to think of any possible excuse for her to design a dress for me. Any ideas?





Real Life Bride: Week 20

Monday, March 22, 2010



What a productive day we had last week! As I mentioned Ryan's mom was in town, so we all headed up to LA and out to the Westlake area. Our first visit was to Westlake Village Inn, one of the hotels that we have a room block at. They have a restaurant called Mediterraneo, which was nice, but the real gem is a private room called the Wine Cellar. It's a stone enclosed structure that opens up to the pond on the hotel grounds. It beautiful, secluded and quaint - perfect for our rehearsal dinner! We also stopped at a few restaurants located on the lake (Boccacio's and Zin's), but we all knew the Wine Cellar was the spot for us, and fortunately it was available on our date!



Our next task was our cake tasting. I don't care that much for cake, and Ryan just loves chocolate, so we thought a simple, home-made style cake would be perfect for us and we found just that at Susiecakes in Calabasas. We tasted three different cake flavors and mutiple filling flavors, but selected exactly what we probably would have even without tasting. Also, since Susiecakes doesn't specialize in elaborate wedding cake design, their pricing is extremely reasonable!



After the cake tasting, we drove back out to Saddlerock Ranch to show Ryan's mom the venue. It was a beautiful day, so calm and peaceful in the hills of Malibu/Westlake. I think it's going to be really lovely for our wedding day.


Finally, we made the trek back across LA to the downtown area for our tasting with The Food Matters. At this point we were all pretty exhausted (how Beth does this on a regular basis, I do not know!), but the tasting was well worth the long day. The presentation was perfect and the flavors were all amazing. Ryan was crazy about the salad while I loved an impromptu corn pasta dish (I'm pushing to have that added onto the menu!). We are hoping to try a couple different dishes to get the main entrees just right (we tried a New York strip that Ryan loved, but I prefer filet), but overall it was great and I know no one will leave our wedding hungry! My personal favorite had to have been all the desserts - Jerry definitely spoiled us with delicious treats and we were all happily stuffed as we left!

{On our way out through the service elevator!}

Sunday, March 21, 2010







courtesy of it's mary ruffle

Weekends are for Weddings

Saturday, March 20, 2010





As much as I've loved sharing my random thoughts, favorite quotes and yummy meal inspirations with you, the wedding season is upon us and I must dedicate my weekends to planning and designing my lovely brides' big day. I'll be back sporadically throughout the season and more regularly in the winter months! But, keep checking in Monday through Friday. We'll be here to help you every step of the way with your wedding plans!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Is it okay to skip the father/daughter dance? It's a tradition that just isn't important to me and skipping it would allow me to get the dance floor started earlier.

I'm a firm believer that there are no rules and that traditions are only meaningful if they mean something to you, however, before deciding that it's not important to YOU that your father walk you down the aisle or that you share the first dance with him, it's always best to ask him directly. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. If you are not close to your father or have other situations that would make it strange for your dad to partake in these traditions, then this might be reason enough to skip the formalities. But, if you just don't think you care if you dance with your father at your wedding, then definitely check in with dear old dad. While it might not be something important to you, it may be a tradition he has been looking forward to since you were born.









Choosing the Right Venue for Your Wedding Style : Part III, Your Own Backyard

Thursday, March 18, 2010



Getting married at your personal home or vacation house is similar to a private estate except for one detail...it's all yours and nothing can be more sentimental than that! I just returned from a scouting trip to Colorado where the couple will be marrying at their parent's home and I couldn't be more giddy. It's the same home where the groom proposed, where they've spent time off through their courtship and essentially, where they have so many amazing memories. A confession...most of my favorite weddings have taken place in the backyard of my client's homes, like the one of Zoe and Griff which is shown in the image above by Steve Steinhardt. And while it's not exactly an option or even the right option for everyone, you might consider a backyard wedding if:


-You have a home large enough to accommodate your guest list and vision. Whether 30 or 130, determine your ideal size in advance and have a professional walk your home to make sure it can work for your wedding size and scope.

-You want to save a few dollars (and who doesn't, right?). You will obviously be able to avoid the site fee that comes with renting a ballroom or private estate but be careful to do all the math as you will spend quite a bit in rentals, parking and all of the other basics to make your home party ready.

-You like the idea of having full control over the space. There are no limitations to the possibilities. You may want to landscape the gardens to complement the flowers and colors in your bouquet or you may be able to bribe your neighbors with wedding cake to allow you to party all night long.

-And probably the number one benefit of marrying in your home is the nostalgia that comes from the place where you played on your first swing set, kissed your first boyfriend or if it is yours and not your parent's, you may be marrying in a home where you have already started building your new life with your fiancĂ©. I can't think of anything more appropriate than that!

Next week will be my final in the series focusing on nontraditional venues like barns, lofts and anywhere else your creativity can take you...

Best Clients in the World!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I just returned from a scouting and design trip to Aspen for a wedding I'm planning in Basalt, Colorado this July and I just have to say it will be insanely gorgeous and fun! I don't usually like to set expectations that high, but it won't disappoint! Check out their save-the-date which was completely a DIY project by this super hip, ridiculously talented and righteously in love couple!

Dear Beth, We Hired Another Planner...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

This is probably more information than one should share on their blog, but I recently was turned down by a potential client. Truth be told, it happens to all of us and sometimes even frequently. Maybe the budget is the issue. Sometimes everyone appears good on paper, but personalities don't mesh and on occasion it's the aesthetic of all involved that just doesn't blend. No matter the reason, it happens to the best of us and is to be expected! Anyway, I don't bring up this rejection just to over share, but rather, I mention it because the couple was so lovely about the "breakup" and even apologetic that they chose another planner. While, I loved the courtesy of actually telling me they went another direction and felt even more disappointed when I realized what a thoughtful couple I would not get to work with, the truth is, it actually feels like I've dodged a bullet when potential client's tell me something just isn't fitting for them. No matter the reason, if it doesn't feel right, it's no fun for anyone including me and my team if there is any sort of reservation about working together. Apprehension in hiring your planner results in more nerves than normal throughout the planning process and even almost guarantees there will be some disappointment along the way. Hiring your second choice planner means you will always be comparing him or her to your first choice and essentially is a recipe for disaster! So, if you're reading this and are having any reservations about the planner you are considering hiring, go another direction. I promise, if she's experienced, she will be thankful that she didn't end up on the bad end of a lukewarm planning relationship and she will more than likely, even move on to another couple who is the perfect match for her and her style. We all love what we do as planners, but what we love even more is the people we get to work with and I think I can speak for many planners, when I say we want you to love everything about us too! It's more than just thinking we are nice, creative and/or organized. It needs to be the whole package. So, don't feel guilty or uncomfortable for one second if you go another direction. In the end, we are all better off!