Guest Blog: The Final Countdown by Kimberly Tobman

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I just finished working with the lovely Kimberly Tobman, who was truly one of the most amazing brides to ever cross my path. You may remember Kimberly from her post she wrote a few months ago about the five ways she was reducing her wedding stress. I loved the article so much and couldn't have said it better myself...If you missed it, please click here. Well, a special treat for me...Kimberly wrote another post about the final countdown a month prior to her wedding called "The Things I Won't Be Doing Between Now and My Wedding," and again, I majorly loved it, so I just had to share. Enjoy!

By: Kimberly Tobman

Here I am – less than a month before the wedding.  It all just hit me.  Over a year of planning and preparation… hiring vendors, finding a dress, scouting locations, trying desserts… and now, I can finally enjoy the fruits of my labor (and by “my” labor, I mean the labor of my wonderful mother and talented planner, Beth Helmstetter).  As the date gets closer, I have decided to make some very important decisions about what I will NOT be doing between now and the wedding.  Maybe it’s about maintaining some sense of sanity… maybe it’s because I have tried not to be a bridezilla.  Whatever it is, here are my very arbitrary rules for myself:


Martha Stewart, InStyle Weddings (RIP), Elegant Brides (RIP) and The Knot are piled high on my bookshelf.  Even though most of the wedding details were finalized months ago, I felt compelled to buy the latest issues of my favorite wedding magazines.  After about a year’s worth of magazines, it’s time to give it a rest.  There isn’t anything in there that I haven’t figured out or decided on.  The only thing it does is create more of a mess for the fiancĂ© to get annoyed about and occasionally cause me to second guess myself.  Bye Bye Magazines.


The dress fits.  Really well.  Would I like to be more sculpted or trim?  Perhaps.  But why try to lose 5-10 pounds and risk an ill-fitting dress that took nearly a year to perfect??  I work out 4 times a week already – and I might increase the arm exercises, but as for losing weight before the wedding?  Nah… I look like me and I feel like me.  That works.


I have spent a lot of time feeling stressed and overwhelmed as the number of invitees kept growing and growing.  I also agonized over all of the people that I could have/should have invited.  Not everyone is going to be happy.  Some people might be annoyed that they feel obligated to go to a wedding on a holiday weekend.  Others might be hurt or annoyed that they didn’t get an invitation.  I hope that everyone who comes to the wedding has a great time and I hope that those who were hurt about not receiving an invitation are able to forgive me.  There is only so much I can do – it’s a little late to worry about it anymore.


Yes – brides do it.  I have been doing it.  It’s quite exciting (albeit very self indulging) to watch the gifts you handpicked get crossed off the list as they are shipped to your door.  But I hate myself a little bit every time I check my wedding registry – and especially when I think “why hasn’t anyone gotten me this yet?”  I am even embarrassed to be writing about it – but I know all brides do this.  It’s normal…right?!  But I miss the element of surprise.  I want to get a box and not really know what is inside of it.  And I don’t want to feel like a totally selfish, bratty Veruca Salt.


Gabby said...

Lol! Totally normal. I'm registered at and everytime I get a notification that a gift has been purchased I can't control myself. I log into my account and peruse my gift list all over again. It's quite exciting - sort of like a birthday everyday!

Polka Dot Bride said...

Haha! That is a very dodgy Photoshop edt of wedding magazines you face there (admittedly mine)!

I love this list and it's so true of so many in the last few weeks!