I'm well aware that I don't have many male readers of my blog, but I just had to share this funny, yet accurate, list of recommendations that a past groom just shared with one of the present grooms I'm working with. I'm a strong believer that the planning process can be much happier if the groom deciphers up front the level of involvement the bride is expecting. Does she want your input on everything? Does she want you to just stand by and "look pretty"? For this groom, he seemed to find the perfect balance and one in which I think other grooms might relate to and appreciate:
1) Stay out of the way.
2) The phrase "I don't care" no longer exists . . . find another, more tactful way to answer questions like "do you think the chairs for the reception should be made of wicker or birch?" and "what kind of fish do you think should be in the fish-bowl center pieces?" Example: "Wicker is fine." "Goldfish sound great!"
3) Give your bride the lead: she has been thinking about her wedding since she was a little girl, so no matter how many ideas you may come up with, she has already thought about every aspect of the wedding somewhere around a thousand times. You should choose your few battles wisely (i.e. I refused to pay $80 each for the aformentioned fish-bowl center-pieces, and I demanded to have an open bar...that was about it).
4) It's your job to deal with family members who are trying to make changes to her big day. We had ours in the Carribean at an adults-only resort, and quite a few family members were not happy with this, but that was just too bad. It is your day, make it happen the way you want it to.
5) Be patient and keep your bride calm, there are bound to be road-bumps.
6) Stay out of the way.
Above Photo by Graham Chappell Photography from the wedding of NFL Player, Chad Morton's Maui Wedding.