Planning Tidbit: Don't feel obligated to use your friend's services

So many times, and I mean, so, so, so many times, brides start the planning process hoping to depend on their friends, family and others to do a favor for them for the wedding. Whether your best friend designs websites and is dying to do the invites or your personal hair stylist can't wait to style your wedding day 'do, there is typically a myriad of people wanting to be involved in the big day. To this, I say, great, amazing, fabulous and wow, what good friends you have, BUT, I also say, be careful. Often that best friend has the best intentions which fall to the wayside when a paying client hires them to create a huge new website/campaign which has now pushed the invitations back a couple of weeks. And, personal hair stylists who are amazing at your highlights and cute, little cut, are not so good at updos or staying on the wedding day timeline. I've seen it so many times that couples want to take advantage of their friend's generous offer, only then to be stuck in a situation where their expectations are not met and now they don't know how to say, "thanks, but no thanks." I mean, how do you put pressure on an overworked friend who is offering their expertise for free, and come on, you don't want to have to find another personal stylist because you had to fire her from your wedding day after you realize that precious wedding hair just isn't her schtick. My best advice: Think about things long and hard before agreeing. Be up front and as nice as possible by letting them know that you appreciate the offer, but you are also checking out everything on the market to make sure it's the best fit. This way if you decide to go another route, they won't be as hurt. Or, if you have a wedding planner, feel free to use him or her as the scape goat. Things like, "my wedding planner already has someone in place for us" or the like, is usually acceptable and then they can be a little bitter towards a perfect stranger rather than you. Now, as always, I want to say, some friends come through and some are AMAZING! I just had a wonderful wedding where the friend was making the cake (Yikes with a capital Y!!) and it beyond exceeded my expectations. But, with this bride, she treated the friend like any other vendor. She let her know that she was going to do a tasting with other cake designers and was also hoping to do a tasting with her as well. In the end, it worked out well and all was happy. But, to avoid potential frustration, try to lay the ground rules in advance or do whatever you can to experience your friend's product or service prior to committing. If this seems harsh, consider the alternative scenario, which is firing a friend or being disappointed by the end product.

In the Press: Southern California Bride's

If you comb the pages of this issue's SoCal Bride's you'll see one of my beautiful couples whose wedding I planned last November. The editors of Bride's magazine interviewed the couple about their choice to carry the theme of their event out through caterering as well as in other areas. With the bride being from Georgia, we went with a Southern style wedding that included everything from Sweet Tea and Hot Apple Cider to Southern Fried Chicken and Red Velvet Cake. It was comfort food galore and their Southern California guests appreciated an excuse to splurge, I'm sure of it! Check out page 186 of the latest issue for more details and inspiration on how to create a wedding menu that you're in love with too!

Jenica & Peter : Engagement Shoot

This Friday is going to be the beautiful, multi-cultural wedding on Jenica and Peter down in La Jolla. Jenica has this amazing, modern edge to her style, but still loves bright colors and wants the day to be super fun. There will be Taiko Drummers, a beer tasting and more and I couldn't be more excited. Below are a few images of this beautiful couple from their engagement shoot at Union Station with B&G Photography. It's obvious Jenica will be a beautiful bride! I can't wait!

Planning Tidbit: 5 Things to Keep in Mind about Assigning Seats at Dinner

I would say the most frustrating part about the planning process for the couple, is assigning seats at dinner. No one can help you with this, because no one knows every guest the way you do. This being said, I would like to TRY to help by giving you 5 little tips:

1. People LIKE to be told what to do and where to sit: So many of my couples think they are being more courteous by not assigning seats and allowing people to sit where they like. Not true! If you don't tell them where to sit or what to do, they get a little flustered and look to your wedding planner, serving staff, etc. to guide them to an appropriate seat. Assigning seats actually reduces anxiety for many of your guests.

2. The exception to number one is there are a few people that HATE being told what to do. These people will change seats, move placecards, etc. Accept that your perfectly designed seating chart will be changed up by that one person who interprets your seating assignment like the authority he has long, deep rooted issues with.

3. You will NEVER make everyone happy. Don't even try. Try as hard as you can to make most people comfortable, but know that someone on the list just won't fit appropriately at any table. So, don't beat yourself up. Just except it and for heaven's sake, do not show anyone not within the immediate planning committee the seating chart in advance. Unless you like hearing things, like "Why do I have to sit next to Aunt Susie?" or, "I can't believe you sat Allison and Esther together. They are going to bicker all night." Guard the chart with your life!

4. People cancel, people show up without RSVPing and dates change. Be prepared by having a few extra seats and/or place cards on hand to ensure the unexpected guests do not feel uncomfortable.

5. If you don't assign seats some guests will be out in the cold. Have you ever been that guest at a wedding sitting by yourself or with one or two other random people in the corner? If so, I would venture to guess they didn't assign a seat for you at dinner. If you don't assign seats, families of four have to split into multiple tables because there aren't four seats left ANYWHERE in the place and guests coming in late from the cocktail hour end up in no man's land at a table with people they don't know or don't care to know.

Take my advice on this one little thing...assign seats, but don't be so bought into your assignments that you will shed tears if someone shows up unannounced or the grumpy old man that was your neighbor ten year ago bucks your suggestions and decides to cram into one of the other tables. It does and will happen, but try to make a MAJORITY of your guest comfortable by giving the seating chart some thought and then be sure to let it go!

Loving This: Kasey Brazael's Lucsious Libations

Last weekend, I had the most amazing beverage tasting with Kasey Brazael of Luscious Libations. She's customizing some fun cocktails for one of my upcoming wedding and of course, hand selecting the wine for my clients. So much fun! Kasey is new to the Los Angeles area, but comes with a very long history of restaurant, catering and bar experience, including working at the famous Gramercy Tavern in New York City and her cocktail concoctions are AMAZING! Below is the recipe for the "I Effen Love You" cocktail that she has cooked up for my super edgy bride who is marrying next weekend at the Smog Shoppe in Culver City. Of course she can do something more classic, but my couple gave Kasey a few of their favorite flavors and she went to town on creating a drink all their own. If you are a beverage snob, Kasey and her team is a must have for your next event.

I EFFEN Love You
2 oz. Effen Black Cherry Vodka
1 oz. Organic Black Cherry Syrup
1/2 oz. Fresh Squeezed Organic Lime Juice
Splash of Soda
Splash of Cherry Bitters

She served it on the rocks and garnished it with lime zest. Enjoy!

Blog Love: BHE on Bash Eco-Events

I heart Paige Appel of Bash Eco Events. Paige has been specializing in Eco-friendly events for years (press parties, product launches, birthday parties and of course, weddings) and her work is inspirational to say the least. Lately she has been blogging up a storm and sharing her wit and charm with the entire world all the while introducing her readers to people and products that love the earth like only she can. A couple weeks ago, she even gave me a little blog love and I just had to return the favor. Click here to read here post on Beth Helmstetter Events, but click here to get all of the juicy goodness that defines Paige. You won't be disappointed!

Design Tidbit: Know your expectations

Every couple comes to me at a different levels of the design process. Some know EXACTLY what they want down to how the napkin is to be folded and the appearance of the table numbers and some have a vision of a feel or vibe they are hoping to create but want the guidance of myself and the vendors to help create that atmosphere. There is no right or wrong way to approach the design process when it comes to your day. It is absolutely 100% your day and should be absolutely 100% the way you want it. BUT, if you know your expectations for the day and the role you hope your vendors to play in the design process, you can use these expectations to determine the right vendors for you. Let's take florists and planners for example.

Some florists specialize in taking a picture and replicating it exactly. If you are the type of bride that wants NO deviation from your look or finds visualizing challenging, this might be the type of vendor for you. And, if you are this type of person, then searching for a coordinator to help with the logistics, implementation and day of coordination is probably the best fit for your approach. This planner will serve as your eyes and ears and overall make sure that the vendors hired follow the pictures and plans to a tee so you have no surprises. Easy, breezy and as long as there are no real emergencies, a day exactly as you want.

On the other hand, if you are the type of bride that has a feel or atmosphere they are trying to create, then you might appreciate a planner, florist, lighting designer, etc. that can use your feel as inspiration and collaborate with you on how to make it come to life. If this is the case, consider hiring a planner and vendors whose aesthetic appeals to you, give them some guidance and let them come back to you with suggestions of how to translate your style at the wedding. This is the sure way to have a more custom event, which I'm always a fan of, but also, you must give a bit more trust to your team as some details will have only been seen in sketches or in your head prior to the wedding day.

One way to know the difference is to ask the vendors directly. Did they design or replicate the looks you see in their portfolio? Did the bride direct every decision or were some things left up to the florists, planners, etc.? Again, there is no right or wrong answer to these questions, but knowing these answers and your expectations will help you to select a team that is best fit for your approach.