Staying Warm at a Winter Wedding

Well, I definitely thought I had lost my window to blog about this topic, but given the oh so chilly weather we are still having in Southern California, I thought a few of you out there might still be looking for great ways to keep a cold weather wedding warm and charming. Enjoy...

CHRISTA & TRAVIS : HARTLEY BOTANICA : SOMIS, CALIFORNIA
The wonderful wedding of Christa and Travis took place in November at Hartley Botanica in Somis. Christa always imagined a November wedding in Southern California with a Southern twist. Now, I'm all for winter weddings, but when she wanted to be outside, I was of course a little nervous. Even in Southern California it can be a little chilly this time of year. So, to make the dream a reality we did a little praying for warm weather and got a little creative by adding a few festive details that would keep the guests warm all over no matter the weather. From a S'mores station with an outdoor fire pit to guests being greeted with pashminas and spiced apple cider, the comfort of the guests was a top priority in every detail, all the while carrying out Christa's vision. Take a peek...

By the way, this event was just featured on Southern Weddings. This is one of my favorite reads and such an honor! If you have the time, check it out:

Christa & Travis, Part 1
Christa & Travis, Part 2

Images shot by the talented Meg Perotti.

Piloxing & Bootcamp

So, as the story goes...busy wedding planner, chilly winter spent in bulky sweaters, and low motivation...the end result, an extra 10 lbs that typically would take me forever to get off. That is until, I discovered Viveca Jenson of V Pilates in Toluca Lake! Now, I hate to use my blog as a selling platform, but I cannot say enough about this woman. I have taken her bootcamp and been a regular at her Piloxing classes over the past three months (of course with the obligated break for the holidays) and I genuinely feel like I am in the best shape of my life. I've lost over 10 lbs. so far, but in addition, lost 4% body fat which I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure is a bigger deal than the weight. 10 lbs might not seem like much, but I really just feel like I'm changing my body. I'm tone in areas that I've never, ever had the slightest muscle tone and it's so wonderful! But, the biggest thing for me is, I am still motivated to go. I just love it! The class is a blast and kicks my butt and I guarantee if you talk to me in a couple of more months I will shed the last 10 lbs I am dying to get off. Who could ask for more? So, the point is this, for all my brides out there in the San Fernando Valley or even farther, trying to get in perfect bridal gown shape, check out Viveca's bootcamp which is held once a month or even some of her Piloxing classes. Click here for the schedule. Viveca and her team are extremely motivational, a lot of fun and work you very hard yet you still feel feminine and powerful all at the same time. This is who Hilary Duff uses to get in shape. Have you seen that girl lately? If not, take a peek at her latest magazine cover below. That should be enough to convince anyone!

For those ladies who are outside of the surrounding areas, I'm not going to lie, you're missing out. But don't worry...Viveca's new Piloxing DVD is out and you can order it here. This is a great at home alternative if you can't make it out for the real thing! Oh, and get the gloves too...They are just an 1.5 pounds that will help you achieve results that much quicker.

QUIZ: Is a Destination Wedding right for you?

I'm hot and heavy in the final preparations for a destination event in Costa Rica, which is going to be fabulous to say the least, and Claire, the bride I am working with, couldn't be a more perfect candidate for a destination wedding. Now, many, many of my clients consider and even dream of a destination event, but let me be the first to say that they certainly aren't for everyone! Cultural differences, language barriers and the inability to touch and feel every element of your day can get to even the calmest of brides. So, before, you book those tickets to Capetown or even Napa, take the following quiz to determine if traveling outside of your comfort zone is the right move for you.

1. Your best friend since the third grade just let you know she cannot attend your destination fete due to finances, you:
a. Tell her you understand, but secretly feel like your relationship will never be the same.
b. Totally get it. You wouldn’t be able to spend $1000+ for her either.
c. Foot the bill for her ticket and demand her attendance.

2. I want a destination wedding because:
a. Duh, it’s cheaper!
b. I want my guests to have an experience like no other wedding they’ve attended.
c. Who has the time to plan anything else?

3. The internet and you are:
a. like old friends who spend hours interacting every day.
b. acquaintances. You email occasionally, but are not completely web savvy.
c. What’s the internet?

4. You think a wedding planner is:
a. A luxury reserved for brides with much larger budgets than yours.
b. Pointless. Why would I hire someone else to do what I can do myself?
c. A necessity. How the heck am I supposed to go it alone thousands of miles away?

5. Your attitude towards your wedding style is:
a. everything must be perfect down to the exact shade of ribbon tied on my bouquet.
b. I have a vision, but since it’s in such a great destination, I know it will be beautiful no matter what.
c. What do you mean wedding style? I think my wedding planner is taking care of that for me.

6. You think you’ve found the perfect photographer for your day, but can’t meet him in person, you:
a. Blow your budget by scheduling a planning trip to your destination. You can’t do this without touching everything and meeting everyone involved in your day.
b. Send in your wedding planner to do the footwork. That’s what she’s there for anyway.
c. Risk it. He’s got a nice web site so he must be legit.

7. Your Aunt just called you for the 17th time to ask where the best restaurant in your destination is, you:
a. Send her the link to your wedding website where all the information is readily available.
b. Tell her she is on her own. How are you supposed to help with other people’s vacations when you have a wedding to plan?
c. Get her started by giving her the phone number of your wedding planner, hotel concierge or local travel agent so she can do the research herself.

8. How do you feel about the culture in your destination?
a. Love it! The traditions, people and foods are the inspiration for designing my day.
b. It’s a little tacky, but it’s fine, as long as it doesn’t show up on my big day.
c. I don’t know much about it.

9. You want to be married by a catholic priest, but just found out that this is not an option in your location, you:
a. Cancel the wedding. Religion is a non negotiable factor for your ceremony.
b. Marry anyway, but plan a small ceremony in your own church when you return home.
c. Don’t care too much. You were really only doing it for your mother anyway.

10. It’s the day after your wedding and you can’t get a minute of alone time with your new hubby, you:
a. Secretly check out of the hotel you have been staying at and head for more secluded accommodations.
b. Love it! You want to spend every last minute with your family and friends.
c. Let them all know how rude they are being. After all, this is your honeymoon too.

SCORING:
1. A. (1) B. (5) C. (3)
2. A. (1) B. (5) C. (5)
3. A. (5) B. (3) C. (1)
4. A. (1) B. (1) C. (5)
5. A. (3) B. (5) C. (3)
6. A. (3) B. (5) C. (1)
7. A. (5) B. (1) C. (3)
8. A. (5) B. (1) C. (3)
9. A. (1) B. (5) C. (3)
10. A. (5) B. (3) C. (1)

10 to 16: CONSIDER A HOMETOWN AFFAIR: Unless you have the time and budget to make multiple trips to your destination of choice, save the pain and stress planning a destination wedding will cause you. Choosing the exact shade of peony, the perfect material for the table linens or ensuring your favorite cousin is able to attend will be a whole lot easier to manage with a hometown affair.

17 to 32: DON’T GO TOO FAR: A weekend in Napa or the Palm Springs area might be the perfect getaway for someone like you who doesn’t want to relinquish complete control, but still wants a new experience for their guests. This will allow you to make a couple of road trips to your destination for planning without breaking the bank.

33 to 50: ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD: You’re all about the destination wedding experience and are open to the bumps in the roads that may come along with the journey. You know what you want, but at the same time know when to trust the experts. Consider Greece, South Africa, Bali or anywhere else in the world for your big day.

BEST ANSWERS:
1. B
Why: When choosing a destination wedding, you have to consider that many key people in your life may not be able to attend. The best attitude to approach a destination wedding is if it only ends up being the two of you, you will still have the wedding of your dreams. Now obviously, you will have some guests, maybe even a lot, but unless you have the budget to pay for your guests to attend, or you associate yourself with guests with a bit of money, do not expect lots of people to shell out hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for your big day.

2. B or C
Why: Unless you are a no frills, no fuss type of gal or you are eloping, destination weddings are not always cheaper. While destination weddings tend to have fewer guests, there are more factors that contribute to the cost of the event. For example, you may want save-the-dates, welcome baskets and even to plan a day trip or extra events for your guests during the week. Also, expenses like shipping items to and from your destination or something usually simple like roses in your bouquet can add hundreds of dollars to your wedding budget. Now, if you’re a bride who doesn’t have a lot of time and can let go of the reins, destination weddings are perfect for you. Hire a wedding planner to spend a couple of hours on the phone with and she can take from there. Or, if you’re someone who wants to make the day very personal so your guests to have an out-of-this world time, destination weddings are also the way to go.

3. A
Why: If the internet is not currently part of your world, prepare for it to become your best friend during the wedding planning process. Because of time differences and the fact that you will not be able to see each detail in person, email will be your number one means of communicating with your wedding planner and other vendors as well as viewing pictures of flowers, linens, chairs, etc.

4. C
Why: When it comes to destination weddings, a wedding planner is a necessity. She will be your eyes and ears at your destination of choice and steer you in the right direction when it comes to choosing vendors as well as any other details for the day. While you do not need to relinquish complete control over to your planner, definitely find someone who is on your side during the planning process.

5. B
Why: When choosing a destination wedding, recognize that you may not have as much control over the design of your day as you might prefer. If you have a good wedding planner, she should be able to get you just about anything you want, but be prepared to pay big bucks if you are not willing to settle for what is readily available in the region of your choice. In an effort to save your sanity and a few dollars, go into the planning process with a bit of flexibility on the design of the event. Embrace the atmosphere of your destination and everything else will fall into place.

6. B
Why: Never hire a vendor without doing the proper research on him or her first, especially for a destination wedding. Unfortunately, a web site cannot tell you the whole story, but a wedding planner can do the necessary leg work to ensure you are hiring a reliable team for your day.

7. A or C
Why: Do not try to take on everything yourself with a destination wedding. Aside from the wedding, you are essentially inviting all of your guests on vacation with you too. To avoid a million phone calls, contact a travel agent immediately to provide information on flights, accommodations and activities. If you are able to compile this information upfront, you’ll be home free from time consuming phone calls and frustrated wedding guests.

8. A
Why: One of the best things about destination weddings is exposing your guests to new and unique cultures. To get the most out of your wedding celebration consider incorporating some traditions and foods from the destination, even if it is something as greeting each guest with a lei in Hawaii, or having a flamenco dancer during the welcome party when in Spain.

9. B
Why: Often with destination weddings you have to take what you can get when it comes to ministers or other members of the clergy. Just like in your hometown, often Priests, Pastors, etc. will not leave their congregation to perform wedding ceremonies. Unless you are willing to fly your officiant in with you for the ceremony, more often than not, you will need to settle for a non-denominational officiant for the day. Since religion often is a big factor in your day, determine whether this is a deal breaker for you and your fiancée.

10. A
Why: It goes without saying that you shouldn’t be rude to anyone who just traveled thousands of miles to be with you on your big day. On the other hand, you do need to spend some time alone with your new spouse. The best solution is to let guests know up front that after the organized activities are over, the two of you will be heading off for alone time. While most people will expect this anyway, this will prevent any potential hurt feelings or conflicts from arising.

On Site Coordinator VS. Wedding Planner

My good friend, Amber over at Amber Events posted an overview on the difference between on-site coordinators and wedding planners and I just had to share. Take a peek at the great outline put together by a venue in West Hollywood. I couldn't say it better myself, except I would add that even if you are sure you don't need more service then what the Venue Coordinator manages, many hotels and venues have high turnover. With this being said, it's important to keep in mind that you may have two or three different people you work with by the time your wedding day comes around. Most venues handle transition well and very professionally, but you should evaluate whether you are one of those people who can handle a potential change in a major player of your wedding team.

The Venue Event Director will

-Recommend Special event professionals that are familiar with and know the venue
-Act as menu consultant for all food and beverage selections
-Detail your banquet event order and wedding outlining all of your event specifics
-Create an "estimate of charges" outlining our financial commitments and deposit schedules
-Create a floor plan of your function space
-Arrange and attend your menu tasting
-Establish your guestroom block
-Oversee the ceremony and reception set ups
-Be the on-site liaison between your wedding coordinator and hotel operations staff
-Ensure a seamless transition to the hotel's banquet captain once the grand entrance has occurred

Your Hired Professional Wedding Coordinator Will:

-Assist with etiquette and protocol for invitations, family matters, ceremony and reception
-Create a "time line" for your wedding day, including the ceremony and reception
-Work with you to organize and coordinate your ceremony rehearsal.
-Remind Bridal party of all pertinent "call times" and "don't forgets" on the day of the wedding
-Confirm call times and details with all vendors several days prior to the wedding day
-Be the liaison with your family, bridal party, band/DJ, florist, photographer and other vendors to create a seamless operation
-Assist you with your gown and any additional needs of the bridal party
-Ensure the ladies have their corsages and bouquets, etc. and assist with the pinning of the mens' boutonnieres
-Set up programs, place cards, guest favors, guest book, champagne flutes, and all personal items
-line up and queue the bridal party and musicians at the time of the wedding ceremony
-Collect any personal items at the conclusion of the reception
-Assist you with "full service" or "day of" coordinating from your engagement to your honeymoon

John Derian Company

One of my amazing clients, just gave me the most lovely decoupage tray from the John Derian Company out of New York and I just had to share! These products are hand made by the artist and his team, but have the feel of a rare vintage find you would come across only after hours and hours of digging at a local flea market. I just love his work and if you have anyone from your mom to your maid of honor who treasure art that is inspired by the past, I think they would love anything from his collection as well. With items starting at $60, this would make a great gift of appreciation to anyone in your wedding party.

Let There Be Light

So often, my clients asked me the question, "why do I need lighting?" and while I find it to be possibly THE most important element when it comes to the design of your event, it is a very hard thing to articulate. It's the difference between having a candlelight dinner and dining under the harsh light of your kitchen. The difference between sitting in a bland banquet room or a room saturated in your vibrant wedding colors and the difference between a well designed, sophisticated event and one that is definitely missing something.

Most couples focus their priorities on the area that they notice the most at a wedding. Be it the over-the-top flowers, the crazy band or the delicious feast, every couple has a different detail they remember when they leave an event. Rarely, if ever, have I had a couple mention that they noticed the lighting as it is very much an atmospheric and background element, but when comparing a room side by side, one with and one without external lighting, there is no argument. Lighting can turn a room into a romantic escape, a funky lounge or even a crisp palette on which you can implement your design. You can add shapes, monograms and other little details with lighting, or if your budget is smaller, at the very minimum, highlight those amazing flowers you spent so long picking out. All in all, it can truly help you create the atmosphere you are looking for, whether it be a garden event with paper lanterns or a ballroom that just needs a few flaws hidden behind some mood lighting. Now, I'm not completely insensitive to budgets and given the economy, I would never suggest breaking the bank to add this element, but what I do suggest is cutting back in florals or other areas to just add some basic lighting to the room. A few uplights and some pinspotting can go a very long way when trying to warm up a boring ballroom.

And, if you still can't take my word for it, check out the amazing "Before and After" gallery on one of my favorite lighting designers' sites, Peterson Lighting, because of course, seeing is always believing.

The Perfect Match

Last night I had dinner with my past clients and now new friends, Jackie and Fred. It's been four months since her wedding, yet, we stay in fairly close communication and always look forward to seeing each other. One of the many great perks of being a wedding planner is that after the wedding is long over, more often than not, I have made new friends who I hope to stay in contact with for a long time to come. After reflecting on my lovely evening, I started thinking about some of the relationships I've made whether it be with brides, grooms and sometimes even parents of the couple, and it made me realize the importance of good chemistry when working with a couple on their one and only wedding day. This is not only true from my perspective, but from the couple's end as well.

When searching for a planner or any vendor, for that matter, so many couples get caught up in their to do list and timeline that they don't take the time to really find the right person for them. It is just a task to check off of the to do list and in the end they are often disappointed with their choice later to discover the perfect planner, photographer, caterer, or whatever the case may be. While, I know I contradict every bridal magazine and planning website out there, for the most part when my clients are selecting their team for the day, I say, "pay no attention to the timing on the to do list". Coming from a "planner", I often come up against resistance and sometimes am ignored, but those who do listen develop the perfect team to implement their wedding day. These are the couples that have the least amount of stress throughout the process as well as the couples who wake up on their wedding day without a care in the world, knowing they've hired the perfect planner, band, stylist, etc. who will stop at nothing to ensure everything is exactly as they have imagined.

I often tell my clients that planning a wedding is a lot like a relationship. You will go through emotional ups and downs, bouts of peace and moments of insanity and so many more emotions you can't even begin to envision when you start the process. Now, the last thing I'm suggesting is that you must be BFF with any of your vendors, including your planner, but it is very important to find that perfect match in someone who can ride the roller coaster with you right by your side. Someone who you have great chemistry with and someone you could imagine coming to if you have any issues be it family related or that your shoes came in two days before the wedding in the wrong size. So, no matter where you are in the planning process, take some time to really think about the decisions you are making. Don't just think about checking things off the to do list in whatever arbitrary timeframe that has been established by your source, but really spend the time to find the absolute perfect fit for yourself and your wedding. Make sure your vendors understand your vision, mesh well with your temperament and overall you trust them. Don't feel guilty if someone looks great on paper, you love one wedding from their portfolio, they are the least expensive option or your best friend loved them so you should too. If you don't have chemistry or it just doesn't feel right, look elsewhere. Believe me, and this is just the planner's perspective, but I would much rather have a potential client turn down my services from the very beginning rather than to spend months and months in a relationship with a couple who doesn't trust me. If you don't take the time to ensure everyone is the right fit, the roller coaster ride I call the wedding planning process, becomes so much more stressful than it ever needs to be.

Happy Planning!

Oh, and in case you are wondering, the picture above is of a PB&J best friend necklace which can be found at www.violetgumdrop.com. So cute and I thought appropriate since you and your planner should be as good together as whatever favorite combination you can imagine.